Fairy tale

It's Halloween. Maybe my doorbell will ring, only to reveal Prince Charming in all his glory. Hmmmm. Maybe I should have dressed up as a Princess, complete with gown and upswept hair.

That is how you manifest a Prince.

Ahhhhh ...

I'm ready to meet the man whose eyes I will look into and know that all the risks that come with true commitment are worth taking.

Yes.

Him.

Brunch

Went to brunch with my mother and sister in the Jersey 'burbs today. There was a couple sitting across from us dressed in comfy Sunday attire, each reading a section of the paper as they drank coffee.

I like when couples are that comfortable with each other. Together, but separate.

It's good.

In the cards

Went to buy my cousin a birthday card at CVS today. He happens to be a nice guy with a smart sense of humor, so I was hoping for something clever.

I was dismayed to find almost every single funny card in the section that said "guy" was about beer. The fun of drinking too much of it. The fantasy of having it pumped in by IV. Yada, yada, yada.

Uh, hello. This is my choice? Beer or beer? Frat humor or frat humor?

The grownup men of the world should rise up in revolt.

Step two

Made a date with the nice-sounding guy for next week. This is the one from the phone last night.

Plus, there's some cool stuff on my calendar over the next two weeks that may yield fresh contacts for potential friendships/relationships.

I'm living my life. Letting people in. It's good.

Especially since I've gone long spells of not doing this in the past.

It's good.

Connection

Just spoke to a pleasant guy from the online dating site. Conversation was easy, smart. There will be more.

That's a start.

Step lively

I left my "day" job shift today and headed to Starbucks near the Empire State Building to meet a life coaching client. We had a lively session. Afterwards, as I walked to catch the PATH train, I noticed that men were meeting me eye to eye. And immediately I knew it had everything to do with the positive vibe I was emitting at that moment as opposed to earlier.

What a lesson. How fabulous is it to know that by simply doing what I love, helping people see their lives more clearly, I can organically be more compelling to casual onlookers? Imagine how that translates in real encounters where we engage another person more fully.

There is power in pursuing our passion.

Cool place

Yesterday I wrote about an online dating prospect whose vibe I just wasn't feeling, shall we say. I wrote him tonight with a frank apology and disengaged. I have moved out of Weird Place.

Deep breath.

Simultaneously, I am in correspondence with a guy who really intrigues me on several levels. Now this is a vibe you want to have at this phase of the process!

Stay tuned.

Weird place

I am at that place in online dating. I'll call it Weird Place. I correspond with a guy who seems OK, but I just don't find him engaging for whatever reason. But maybe in person he's great, I think.

So I keep up the correspondence and each response makes me more certain that we're not a good match. It's not really tangible. It's a vibe.

It would be awfully rude to just disentangle now. Or would it? The critic voices in my head say, "How will you know if you don't meet him?" Or, "You're a horrible human being if you don't meet him." Or, "How shallow can you be?"

The realist in me counters with, "Why waste your time or his?" Or, "You're doing him a favor if this is how you feel." Or, "Why is it shallow to follow your gut? You're not basing this on materialism or looks. That would be shallow!"

So it'll be a phone conversation. That should provide more information, more of a gauge.

I don't like residing in Weird Place. I need out.

Then and now

Something prompted me today to recall a date I had about seven years ago. A Frenchman who had become an American citizen. We met for a drink. He was engaging, smart, nice to look at. He started talking about organized religion being a cult. My haughty self argued with him and took it completely personally.

My, how times have changed. Now we'd have a lot to talk about.

Frogs, etc.

The good-vibe, hot guy on the dating website closed the match I initiated. The box he checked for reason was "other."

Whoo boy. My skin is getting thicker by the minute.

Incidental inspiration

I heard author Elizabeth Gilbert speak at a luncheon today. She is inspiring because she isn't trying to be. Her book Eat, Pray, Love is about so much, but in a neat word it's about 'truth.'

And so that made me think of a friend I ran into the other day who asked, "How's that manifesting a man thing going?" She smiled a knowing smile.

The truth is, it's hard. Not grueling hard. Or walking 10 miles uphill in the snow hard. But hard nonetheless. If you look for him, one theory goes, you won't find him. If you don't look for him, another theory goes, you don't really want him in your life because you should go after what you want.

I think they're both sort of true on any given day. The idea is to be open to his arrival, to be alert and present when meeting new people, to engage in life and naturally attract like-minded others.

Elizabeth Gilbert went on a quest to find herself and in the process she met a dear man who became her husband. Inspiring.

Precisely because she wasn't looking.

You dog

After a long and loyal relationship, I cheated today. I had a craving, I had the opportunity to feed it, and I did. I have a semblance of guilt. But it was worth it.

I mean, Gray's Papaya has been good to me. The hotdogs have just the right snap, the bun lightly grilled, the mustard just right. But today I was near Chelsea Papaya. It called to me. Hotdogs ... hotdogs ... hotdogs. And I succumbed. And I found out Chelsea Papaya has one thing Gray's doesn't -- relish. It was my undoing.

I stepped out. I did. Color me scarlet.

The beat goes on

Just wrote to a totally new guy on the online dating site. Loved his profile. Great vibe. And, OK, pretty hot, too.

Come on, baby.

I'm a catch waiting to be caught.

Get cooking

Today was one of those lazy days where I made a couple of pots of soup, tried an herbed tomato recipe I saw on The Food Network, and caught up with dear friends. I love that I've ventured into the cooking realm a little more. I'm no gourmet, but I'm much more curious and willing to try different things.

Yikes. I'm a little bit more of a typical Italian-American girl than I thought.

Should I add that to my dating profile?

Things in common

I opened communication with a guy on the dating Web site. Guided communication, they call it.

I like the attitude that came across in his profile. He likes to live and explore.

I'd like a partner in living and exploring.

I really would.

So far, so good.

In the cards

My dear tarot-reading life coaching client flipped three cards for me after our session this evening, just as she did after our last session. A tradition in the making. I love this.

The Justice card, subtitled "Going to the top," focuses on sexuality and how it ties into living life to the fullest. Fantastic, yes? The 5 of Wands card is about living well and how right now I have a lot of fires burning and I'm not sure which to pay attention to at any given moment. So true.

But the one that almost made me gasp to hear was The Fool card. It challenges you to have the courage to face the future and walk your own path even if your back isn't covered. There is a great path before me, it says, and the greater the path, the greater the panic. It makes this stunning statement: Fulfilling your important desires and resolving your obsessive fears are now your daily tasks.

It is so, so right. My desires are very BIG and my fears are very obsessive. They go hand in hand. I get it.

And I accept the mission.

The dating game

This is how you know you're dating in 2007:

You blog about your date, saying it was nice but there was no chemistry. Your date emails you the next day, thanks you for a nice time and says he agrees that there was no chemistry.

He has read the blog. Makes you laugh out loud.

His parting thought: Remember, we're one person closer!

You've gotta love that.

More Tao

On September 23 I wrote about starting Wayne Dyer's new book where he reflects on the 81 verses in the Tao Te Ching. This week I am pondering the second verse and its relevancy to my life now and as a whole.

(Incidentally, you can read the complete Tao here:
http://academic.brooklyn.cuny.edu/core9/phalsall/texts/taote-v3.html.)

For me, the most central insight of the second verse is to be aware of duality and judgment. Beautiful vs. ugly. Right vs. wrong. Labels we put on things. I am so aware of that in my daily life and I think it has made me a more compassionate, reasoned person. Truthfully, I think it will make me a better partner in a relationship.

I also like that this verse reminds us, in Dyer's words, to practice "effortless action without attachment to outcome." This has been a conscious decision for me and I've applied it to so many situations in my life. That said, I need to incorporate it -- or better yet, embody it -- even more.

Dyer says that if Lao-tzu had to sum up the second verse in today's language, he would simply say: Just be.

Hmmmm. Yes. Maybe it's time to live that.

Elevation

Bought a pair of black, pointy, knee-high boots today that make me feel like a sex machine.

Just thought I'd mention it :)

Missing ingredient

Had a lunch date. Nice conversation, nice meal, nice man.

No chemistry. I think it was mutual.

Giving back

In a recent post I wrote about James, the homeless man I interact with almost every day, and how he gave me a Christian-themed booklet:

http://theuniversalflow.blogspot.com/2007/09/good-life.html

Well, when I told him I wasn't aligned with its content, he asked for it back so he could give it to someone else. I returned it to him today, thanking him graciously for thinking of me. James shrugged and said it's kind of like when Bill Gates gave all these people he knew a chance to get in on Microsoft at the beginning -- the ones who chose not to are really regretting it now.

Wow. I think my eyebrows raised a bit and then I just smiled. This man really believes he invited me to partake in the Promised Land and that someday I'd regret passing it up.

Wow.

Overheard

Had a long work day. Slid on the workout sneakers and headed out for a power walk at about 8 o'clock. Looped around Pier A Park at the waterfront. A couple, maybe early 40s, caught my eye. They were sitting close together on the ledge near the river. Everything about their body language was loving.

"You are extraordinary," she said to him.

I breezed by, taken by how fabulous it must feel to say that to someone.

Alert!

Date pending.

Pace

After writing here last week that my life is too cut up into chunks,

After realizing that I keep saying I want to manifest a relationship but that I haven't created time for it,

After a dose of soul searching,

I have begun to put wheels in motion that will create space.

Not just for a relationship,

But for breathing.

Prospect-ing

Spent the better part of two hours on the phone with a dating prospect. Really nice, smart, funny guy.

We have a nice rhythm. This is what I know.

Stay tuned ...