The good life

Sometimes this Universal Flow is so glorious.

It is said when you state your dreams/goals, The Universe will conspire to make them happen. There is so much happening in such fabulous succession right now. I know I am being cryptic, but sometimes it is simply wise to let things unfold naturally before blabbing about it from the mountaintop.

What I can say is I feel very much in step with my purpose and all good things will come from that. I have been laying the groundwork for years to live my life a certain way. I have been preparing for desired outcomes and the leaps of faith are paying off.

This is how I live. It's what works.

My life is good.

Space

Ha.

I was so busy manifesting last night that I never got around to blogging. Ironic, maybe.

I have a professional development. It's exciting. It's cool. I'm almost ready to talk about it here.

In the meantime, know this. There is power in clearing space, really clearing space, for new things to come in.

There is.

Good ear

Today I needed clarity on some things in my life that feel like breakthroughs. I reached out to someone wise.

She was scathingly honest.

I got my clarity.

Kindred spirits

Today I am talking to a prospective life coaching client who believes she manifests her life and I hear myself say how amazing it is that I attract people to my practice who have beliefs similar to mine.

And then I hear August Gold's message from the day before in my head. You either believe you manifest things in your life or you don't.

So it is not so amazing that the prospective client has found me.

I called her forth.

Anew

I went to the Sacred Center for Spiritual Living this morning for service. So good. And as always, synchronous.

Just yesterday I attended a baby shower and talked to my cousin about living in two worlds and how sometimes I feel like I straddle them. The traditional, limited world I grew up in that can make me feel comfortable but also sometimes caged. And the more evolved, educated one that is exciting and a good fit for me, but is sometimes daunting.

Fittingly, in today's sermon, Rev. August Gold talked about living in two worlds and how we have to pick one. You don't walk the path of manifesting your life today and then eschew it tomorrow. You either believe you manifest your life or you don't. You live in that "place" or you don't. By choosing, we liberate ourselves.

I feel like I have chosen the more evolved world in most areas of my life, but there is "old world" stuff lingering and sometimes it shows itself in ways that are surprising and disconcerting. It is time to shed that baggage, give my story a fresh start.

Yes, yes. In with the new.

Solitary confinement

Today I am back from a few days away, spending valuable time with family for Thanksgiving and more. It has been a busy time, but I have also had space to reflect and observe some things.

My brother asked me what I was most looking forward to when I got home. My own bed? My solitude?

I heard myself respond without a moment of thought, "Well, actually, I don't require as much solitude as I used to."

Hmmmmm. Perhaps I have turned a corner. One where I value private time but crave healthy companionship, too. Sounds like a small thing, but in my world it is very big.

For that I am thankful.

Lingering thoughts

I am staring at this page and I know what I have to write. I just don't want to.

The situation with The Professor is lingering in my mind. It has taken me about 11 days to figure out what's at the heart of that. It is this: I put a man's feelings second to writing this blog. What the hell is that about? And why didn't it occur to me at the time?

This blog is supposed to be about manifesting things in my life. Sometimes specific things. Since August 1, I mostly gave it over to the manifestation of a wonderful relationship with a wonderful man. I am proud of my commitment to it and to writing about it here. I think that's obvious.

However, when assessing my second date with The Professor, I first made the assumption he was on the same page about it. I then justified telling him my conclusion via email before pretty much duplicating those thoughts in this blog. I knew he had plans that night and I couldn't reach him by phone. All I kept thinking was, "I must update the blog. I must be honest. The blog, the blog, the blog ... " I didn't even take time to breathe. Or consider his feelings. Imagine being on the receiving end of that.

Funny, even when writing this post, I thought perhaps I should just be writing this to him instead of repeating the act in this forum. But that isn't fair either, is it? Why write the obituary publicly and then eat crow privately? I was inconsiderate. I would not want a man to treat me that way in that situation.

It is important to me to admit it. Not berate myself, but take responsibility for what I chose to do. To learn.

I learned. And I had to write about it.

Contagious?

I'm sitting in a cafe writing. The couple in the next booth is very sweet and loving.

Hope it rubs off ...

Soul food

Something drew me to Sunday service at the Sacred Center for Spiritual Living today. It had been a while. Months, actually.

I walked in the door and within a minute I was swept in and enveloped in a soul dance. The music, the energy, the meditation. I cannot do it justice here.

The message delivered by the Rev. August Gold spoke to me for several reasons. One, its lesson was the one I never tire of hearing -- the answers we are seeking are within us. Two, she said the beginning of our story is supposed to be just that -- the beginning. Too often, we cling to or dwell on our past and take it with us as we continue to write the story of our lives. It has shaped who we are, of course, and understanding it is often invaluable to healthy progress. But must we carry it on our backs like an albatross?

I find that it is most difficult to do this in dating. This is when "old" things seem to unexpectedly come up, sometimes smacking me in the face. It can be jarring. Rev. Gold's words made me catch my breath at one point because I recognized my own recent actions were the result of what I was carrying around, so to speak.

Church was good for me today. So good.

My soul has been thanking me all day long.

Takeaway

One of the meaningful things I took away from my dates with The Professor was the joy of simple touch.

It's underrated.

Back in the game

With pictures fresh from a professional photo shoot in my possession and the online dating site throwing bargain prices at me begging me to come back, it looks promising that I'll take the plunge again. It keeps me sharp and in the game, to borrow some phrases from my sportswriting past.

It brings up an interesting question, though. How confident am I that I'll be manifesting a healthy relationship with a man sooner rather than later? The more months you purchase, the cheaper the fee is per month. Six months? A year? Yowza.

I have to ponder this. I think it's worth re-stating my affirmation in the meantime:

I am powerful, loving and harmonious and equipped to attract the ideal man for me, under grace in a perfect way.

And so it is. Bring him.

Onward and upward

I feel as if I'm taking a deep breath after getting to know more about myself. Each date this year has brought with it revelation.

This last time, the lesson was about the importance of healthy interplay and what that entails for me. I paid attention to signs instead of glazing over what my gut was telling me. That's how it should be.

I'm ready to forge on. With a smile.

Closure

I reached out to see if The Professor wanted to have what I envisioned as a sort of closure conversation. He said no. I had already written our obituary in this blog, he said, and he didn't see the point.

We even saw the purpose of the phone call very differently.

Further validating my decision.

I got my closure.

Checkmark

Last night I wrote a post on here about manifesting a professional opportunity. Today I received an email confirming receipt of my materials for that very opportunity and letting me know interviews would be held in a few weeks.

Now I just have to be patient.

Switching gears

I need a short (?) break from MAN-ifesting. Instead, it is time to manifest a professional opportunity.

I am focused on a particular venture, something for which I've enthusiastically applied. Just preparing the application package felt joyful. It will put more structure to my life coaching practice and take it up a notch. It has loads of benefits.

The next few weeks will be telling. I will get that phone call. I will kick butt on that interview. I am meant to be a part of this team. It will happen.

Under grace, in a perfect way.

Of princes and dates

I'm not sure how to begin this one.

My second date with The Professor had its really good moments. But overall it made me sad. He is a good man. But it seems he is not my good man.

We had a "moment" early in the date that bothered both of us. We talked it out. Then, for me, there was another and then another. A second date shouldn't be this hard, I thought. We have some basic differences that are a much bigger deal than I could have imagined. He's not right or wrong. I'm not right or wrong. We are who we are. One of us would have to change pretty drastically to make this work. Sadly, I believe this adds up to incompatibility.

When I returned to Hoboken at about midnight last night, I immediately called a dear friend as I walked back to my apartment from the train. I was upset and needed to talk. Blessedly, he was on his way back from the city himself and arrived a short time later. He listened well and gave me insightful feedback. He let me see that, despite my insecurities in that moment, I am on a good track and that I am lovable and loving and loved.

This was such a source of joy I cannot tell you. To be enveloped this way and shown my own goodness and beauty at a time of self-doubt.

I will feel the ripple effects of The Professor for a while, I suspect. I am so much closer to manifesting a wonderful relationship with a good man. He has opened my eyes to all kinds of things.

In a gesture of faith, I bought a Christmas ornament today that is a beautiful, sparkly frog with a shiny gold crown on its head. Yes, that prince is coming.

Here and now

A friend was telling me this week that she has a second date with a nice guy tomorrow. Her friends, based on a photo, have told her she's out of his league and that she should drop him.

Yikes.

By contrast, I have a second date tomorrow with a nice guy and I have entertained no opinions. It has taken a while to get here, but I don't give a rat's you-know-what what other people think of him. Not even people I love. I don't know him myself yet. Why would I put a vote on the floor?

I told my friend she needs to set boundaries with her friends. I asked her if any of these people were involved in relationships and if they had indeed picked their significant others by themselves or by committee. I suggested she take it as fast or as slow as felt right.

Most importantly, I told her to be in the moment. This is good advice. I know because I am following it. It allows for exploration, flirtation, trepidation, exhilaration.

It's good. I want her to experience that, too.

Timing

Have I mentioned that my membership to the online dating site expired last Sunday?

And that my terrific date with The Professor was just two days before that?

Too cool for words.

Number two

There is a second date with The Professor scheduled for Friday. Yeeha.

Now this is a bit embarrassing, but I can't recall the last time I had a second date. Not sure what that says, but there it is.

At this point I am choosing to look at it as a testament to this blog, on which I began expressing my desire to manifest a man for a wonderful, vibrant relationship on August 1. That's not to get ahead of myself here, or to put any pressure on The Professor. It's simply to say that something has changed and it is positive.

No victory lap yet.

Yet.

Steps

The Professor has been programmed into my phone.

It is a leap of faith.

He inspires that in me.

Post-date

The nice man, let's call him The Professor, called to make sure I got home safely last night. And then he called today to chat.

Feels as sweet as an embrace.

First date

Date report in a nutshell:

If there is a bigger turn-on than a sexy man who happens to be a good kisser telling me how much he likes my smartness and my prettiness, I don't know what it is.

But I have a hunch I'll find out.

Soon.

Health and love

I have been rereading Eat, Pray, Love to get more of a writer's eye on it. The first time I was, plain and simple, a rapt reader. Now, as I near the end, I find myself slipping back into reader mode. That is a testament to author Elizabeth Gilbert's beautiful and captivating turn of phrase. And, of course, to her description of falling in love with a wonderful, older Brazilian man in Bali.

It is so compelling to me to read about love that blossoms from a place of emotional health. I have done so much work in that area and could not be more proud of it. I delight in the idea of being in a relationship with someone who is equally proud of who he's become.

My date with the nice guy from the online site is tomorrow night. His emails make me smile. I'm excited about meeting him.

Stay tuned.